From the monthly archives:

April 2009

Xanax Overtakes Laughter As The Best Medicine

LA JOLLA — This month’s issue of The Scripps Journal Of Medicine featured its famous yearly ranking of the best 100 medicines.  Surprisingly, Xanax took [...]

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Barnes and Noble Announces Plan To Sell Books

MIRA MESA — Today Barnes and Noble unveiled an aggressive plan to sell books to customers who shamelessly spend hours reading them free.
The announcement came a day after the [...]

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Study: Office Workers Waste Too Much Time Reading Online News Articles

Researchers at a prestigious community college released a study which claims that most office workers waste an average of 30 minutes per day reading online news articles.
“If [...]

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Zoo Struggles To Keep Rising Panda Population Under Control

DOWNTOWN — Today the San Diego Zoo Commission announced that their Chinese Panda population is now growing at an uncontrollable rate.
“It seems like a litter of panda [...]

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Ocean Levels Rise Drastically Overnight, Mira Mesa Now Beachfront Property

MIRA MESA — Rather than waking up to the usual morning sounds of helicopters, police sirens, and car windows breaking, today Mira Mesa residents arose [...]

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Local Priest Caught Hiding Easter Eggs Outside Jewish Synagogue

OLD TOWN — Yesterday, as the congregation of Temple Beth Shalom arrived to attend the Bat Mitzvah of 12-year-old Lindsay Rubenstein, they reportedly found two [...]

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1946 Pacific Beach Photo Helps Historians Pinpoint The Origin Of Douchebags

DOWNTOWN — Yesterday the San Diego History Museum added a recently discovered image to its 1940s photo gallery, which some say will lead historians to [...]

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Online Dating Study Reveals 9 Out Of 10 Women Like To Have Fun

LA JOLLA — According to a recent study published by a renowned UCSD psychology professor, 9 out of 10 women who have profiles with internet [...]

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Tijuana Drug Cartels Now Fighting Over Legal Drugs

TIJUANA, MEXICO — Today the Tijuana drug war took a turn for the worse when it was reported that two major drug cartels are now [...]

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