Man Survives The Lunch Special At Pick Up Stix, Scientists Baffled

by staff on January 8, 2009


Today a young man from North Park defied all odds by surviving the lunch special from a local Pick Up Stix restaurant.

27-year-old Vincent Conner emerged from the restaurant after eating the lunch special which includes one serving of the House Beef Special, a side of rice, a large coke, and an almond cookie.  This combination contains a whopping 1688 calories and 68g of fat, which is unhealthy enough to paralyze a large gorilla.

When the Pick Up Stix employees noticed that a customer did not keel over after eating the meal, they immediately notified KUSI San Diego News of the miraculous feat.

“We usually call the paramedics when someone eats the lunch special”, said Pick Up Stix employee, Chad Beringer.

The KUSI reporters where enthralled by this story and immediately rushed to the scene to interview Conner.

When asked by the news team how it feels to survive the lunch special Conner said,  “It’s pretty cool to do what no one said could be done.  I feel like Michael Phelps…except instead of winning 8 gold medals, I ate a plate of crap”.

Since the incident occurred, scientists at UCSD’s Biology Research Center have expressed an interest in studying Conner’s DNA.

“If we can figure out how Conner’s body survived the lunch special at Pick Up Stix, we can use this knowledge to find cures for other toxcities such as cobra bites or anthrax inhalation,” said Robert Haily, a UCSD Biology Professor.

Despite serving meals with dangerously high fat, grease, and calorie content, Pick Up Stix is still San Diego’s leader in Authentic American Asian Cuisine.


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