With all the talk of the recent bubbles in our society — the real estate bubble, tech bubble, oil bubble — it seems that the impending yogurt bubble has escaped the attention of the mainstream media. This is a bubble that can not be ignored. The city simply cannot contain the amount of yogurt shops it currently has. The yogurt bubble will soon burst and when it does…it will rain sprinkles.
You can’t walk down a busy street without noticing at least one yogurt shop within each commercial plaza. These days it seems that everyone and their mom owns a yogurt shop.
If you look at our data you can clearly see an over saturation of yogurt shops in San Diego. By 2010 we’ll physically run out of land to build new yogurt shops.
This will expand the current trend of incorporating yogurt shops inside establishments that have nothing to do with yogurt. Betty’s Hand Carwash in Rancho Penasquitos just opened a yogurt shop. Cheetah’s Gentleman’s Club, Kearny Mesa’s most successful business, now houses a yogurt shop (featuring many different cup sizes). Other businesses that will soon contain yogurt shops include banks, laundromats, and abortion clinics.
Come for a soft serve, leave with a hard serve.
The question is not if, but when will a yogurt recession occur, and how much damage will it inflict on San Diego’s already crippled economy? We predict that hundreds of yogurt shops will close, which means hundreds of jobs will be lost.
Peter Landry, who solely operates Linda Vista’s “Happy Yogurt,” is afraid that if he’s forced to close his yogurt shop, he’ll have to return to his previous job working as a software engineer.
According to our sources the government may have step in with a bailout package to help the yogurt shops that are too big to fail (those with two or more employees). A yogurt bailout would ease the fear that the mass exodus of yogurt shops would have serious repercussions affecting the topping industry, plastic spoon industry, and the tiny sample cup industry.
During a recent City Hall Meeting held to discuss this subject, City Council Member Lewis Rosenbloom said, “No one wants to see a yogurt meltdown … when that happens it’s really hard to keep on the spoon and usually drips on my shirt.”
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
Seriously. There are like 5 yogurt shops within a half-mile radius of my house in Hillcrest.
This is seriously the most accurate piece of news ever!
i actually love the fact that there are so many yogurt shops! somebody once said the same thing about, coffee shops, bagels shops and fast food places. But yet all of those have been around for years and getting bigger and bigger, The fact that our society is more in tune with health and weight,its great that there is a healthy alternative. It is also nice for when anyone, crave something sweet and just wants to get together with some friends over a quick bite of something healthy and light.
Yeah, but eating two thousand calories of yogurt isn’t exactly going healthy and light.