SD Headliner To File For Chapter 11 Bankruptcy

by staff on June 18, 2009

SD Headliner headquaters

SD Headliner headquarters

DOWNTOWN — Today SD Headliner — the official fake newspaper of San Diego — announced it will be filing for Chapter 11 Bankruptcy due to “rough economic conditions.”

The announcement came after the company revealed that their quarterly profit for ad revenue sank to $7.53.

As a result of filing for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection, the company will be forced to fire 120 journalists and 40 photographers.

“It’s a tough time for the company,” said CEO George Mandelbaum. “To make matters even worse, our 30-day trial of Photoshop expired, so we may have to start using Microsoft Paint.”

The company is hoping for a federal bailout to avoid losing their famous 32-story skyrise building, which has been considered a Gaslamp landmark since it was built in 1932.

While the company goes through its restructuring process, no new stories will be posted to the website, and print editions will no longer be delivered to households.  However, a new forum has been created for fans to connect with each other during the company’s downtime.

{ 4 comments }

EBone June 19, 2009 at 7:45 am

But you’re going to come back, right?

staff June 22, 2009 at 4:51 pm

Eventually. The date is yet to be determined.

EBone June 23, 2009 at 6:56 am

Looking forward to it.

Shannon June 30, 2009 at 8:15 pm

I hear that they went to help somebody move.

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