SD Headliner headquarters
DOWNTOWN — Today SD Headliner — the official fake newspaper of San Diego — announced it will be filing for Chapter 11 Bankruptcy due to “rough economic conditions.”
The announcement came after the company revealed that their quarterly profit for ad revenue sank to $7.53.
As a result of filing for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection, the company will be forced to fire 120 journalists and 40 photographers.
“It’s a tough time for the company,” said CEO George Mandelbaum. “To make matters even worse, our 30-day trial of Photoshop expired, so we may have to start using Microsoft Paint.”
The company is hoping for a federal bailout to avoid losing their famous 32-story skyrise building, which has been considered a Gaslamp landmark since it was built in 1932.
While the company goes through its restructuring process, no new stories will be posted to the website, and print editions will no longer be delivered to households. However, a new forum has been created for fans to connect with each other during the company’s downtime.
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But you’re going to come back, right?
Eventually. The date is yet to be determined.
Looking forward to it.
I hear that they went to help somebody move.