Female Pedicab Drivers Strike, Refuse To Pedal Greasy, Overweight Men

by staff on March 16, 2009


Pedicab driver suffers from a leg cramp while pedaling a greasy, overweight man

DOWNTOWN — Today the union of female pedicab drivers announced they will be going on strike until a law is passed that prevents creepy, obese men from attempting to ride pedicabs.

Pedicab rides are a pay-per-minute service that enables out-of-shape individuals to be pedaled around by in-shape individuals in San Diego’s historic Gaslamp District.

The strike was triggered by a tragic incident last week, when a 21-year-old female pedicabbie named Jane Kelley collapsed from exhaustion while trying to pedal two 300-pound men from the Ghirardelli Chocolate Store to Gaslamp Pizza.  Kelley is the third pedicab driver to be hospitalized for exhaustion this year.

“We’re fed up with having to pedal greasy, overweight men from restaurant to restaurant,” said pedicab driver, Tina Johnson.


Pedicab drivers protest

The union of female pedicab drivers are currently protesting on the corner of 5th and Broadway.  Their list of negotiations include imposing a 200-pound weight limit, minimizing the time passengers can spend staring at their rear ends, and prohibiting passengers from taking pictures of them with their camera phone.

“This situation shows how Americans in general are getting fatter and lazier every year,” said obesity research expert, Dr. Barry Goldwater.  Goldwater is the author of the current New York Times Best Seller, “Walk Your Fat Ass Back to Your Car: The Laziness of Pedicab Passengers.”

To make this issue even more complicated, the union of greasy, obese, male pedicab passengers are also protesting (from inside the Jack in the Box on C St.), claiming that the pedicab strike is unfair.

“It’s unconstitutional to discriminate against us … we keep most of the downtown restaurants in business and make up ninety percent of pedicab passengers,” said one fat greasy guy.


Joe March 16, 2009 at 10:18 pm

I’ve heard several accounts on how much ass the male pedicabbies get.

Step 1. Put a drunk female in the cab
Step 2. Shake your bottom in her face
Step 3. Bang her in an alley

Joey Greco March 18, 2009 at 11:22 pm

Classy, very classy, Joe.

Jason March 19, 2009 at 6:07 am

I guess everyone has a union now a days. Is there a union for the “Male pedicabbies who get a lot of ass” ?

joe_momma March 20, 2009 at 1:03 pm

all the drunken girls go to Whiskey Girl, but they stank

Sharky April 6, 2009 at 2:01 pm

How about getting low rider bikes? Those cruise slower, so the cabbies can charge more money. Also, a quick flip of the hydraulics will eject any unruly or un clothed passenger.

noway April 14, 2009 at 3:16 pm

that redhead is cute as hell

valerie tamburri October 6, 2010 at 10:20 am

Is this “Union” and “Strike” a joke?! C’mon gals, you’re making us female pedicabbers look bad. It’s simple, if a potential fare looks heavier or creepier than you can handle, turn down the freakin’ ride. Nobody says that you HAVE to take anyone and everyone for a ride. And if 200lbs is your weight limit, maybe you should consider looking for a new job.
I personally love the lard-asses. They keep me in business and they usually tip out better.

valerie tamburri October 6, 2010 at 10:25 am

Haha, I guess it IS a joke. Oops (I didn’t notice the GIANT headline at the top of this article “The official fake newspaper of SD”)

j d December 19, 2010 at 1:49 pm

Complete discrimination. I would put these girls back in their place and back in the kitchen. It is feminists like these who destroy our tradional family structure that in turn destroys our country. God for bid if a white male didn’t want to pedal a greesy black jery curl crack head around down town.

j d December 19, 2010 at 1:51 pm

Don’t they charge by the pound anyway?

Pazzo March 28, 2012 at 10:05 am

Because an acquaintance of mine wants to know, just how greasy and fat does a man need to be before he is officially classified as a greasy fat guy? You can just tell me, and I’ll pass it on to my friend. Who wants to know. Just to be sure. Because it wasn’t specified in the article. And the union of greasy, obese, male pedicab passengers doesn’t care, so long as the dues are paid on time.

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