Idiots Continue To Pay $70 For Flannel Shirts

DOWNTOWN — Yesterday yet another person reportedly purchased a $70 designer flannel shirt, this time at a local Urban Outfitters store.

Witnesses say Todd Kent, a 28-year-old University Heights resident, bought the flannel shirt because being able to spend $70 on ragged-looking clothing makes him feel like both a winner and a loser at the same time.

“I can’t really understand why he paid so much for it. It’s a flannel shirt for Christ Sakes! They sell the same ones at Walmart for $5,” said Urban Outfitters cashier Patty Fletcher, who rang up Kent’s purchase.

Ever since flannel came back in style in 2008, most high-end men’s apparel stores have been cashing in on the fad by charging an exuberant amount of money for shirts that look like they belong in a thrift store.

Jim Fleetwood, manager of the Fashion Valley Mall’s Lucky Brand Jeans Store explained, “We basically opened a crate of flannel shirts that had been in storage since 1992, put them back on the racks, and amazingly enough, people started buying them.”

“It’s incredible that these morons are paying upwards of $90 to look like a homeless lumberjack,” he added.

The price of a flannel shirt at Lucky Brand Jeans can range anywhere from $50 to $120. The most expensive styles have pre-made holes in the armpits to make the shirts look more worn, thus more cool.

“Personally, I don’t get why people are going to high-end stores for flannel shirts. It’s like going to a 5-star restaurant and ordering a $50 taco,” said Steve Hertzberg, owner of Trend Setters, a high-end La Jolla apparel store that sells expensive flannel shirts.